Who can send me a few humorous jokes, don't be too long ..

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6 Replies to “Who can send me a few humorous jokes, don't be too long ..”

  1. 1. A sloppy woman asked the beggar: Do you have a buttons on your pants? I sew it on you. Beggar said: The kind wife, I have a button, can you sew pants on it?
    2 Husband: You always put my photos in your handbags. Do you really love me so much? Wife: When I encounter trouble, I will be courageous when I look at your photos. I said to myself: Can I still have more trouble than him?
    3. One day, a couple argued that there were chickens in the world first, or eggs, Little Lis, and intervening, "Of course, there are eggs first, things in the world are always simple. At the beginning, there are complex things. "
    4. Men said to women: When you see, when do the heroine in the novel and movie be mentioned to the male protagonist? I didn't understand, there was no actor without a car or no room.
    5. Older unmarried girl Ahua and girlfriend shopping, Ahua sighed: I am happy if I never see me! Girlfriend comfort: see! A man over there has been looking at you with a smile! Ahua sighed again: That person is a plastic surgeon!
    6. ** School graduation interview, the examiner asked: If you are executing official duties, how do you dispel the crazy crowd? The young student thought about it and replied: I will raise funds from them, and the chief.
    7. After a rich man died, he left three sentence suicide books: "The passbook is in the password box, the password box is in the safe, and the safe's key is sandwiched in the passbook."
    8. Husband: How do you control yourself? The temper? Wife: Every time you get angry, I go to the toilet. Husband: Can the toilet help you control the bad temper? Wife: I use your toothbrush.
    9. One day, Xiaoqiang ate too much, and walked too quickly. He hit a beautiful eyebrow. Xiaoqiang was about to apologize. : Am I so disgusting?
    10. One day the farmer inspected the orchard and found a boy climbing to the apple tree. The farmer shouted: Little trouble, you wait to see, I want to tell your dad! The little boy looked up and shouted: Dad, someone will talk to you underneath!
    11. One night, a black man was bitten by a mosquito. He hurriedly destroyed the candle and said, "Let you see me anymore."
    12. The two lions came over, and the male lion said to the lioness: There is dinner again today. The lioneer said: Eat cans again, have no appetite!
    13. My old neighbor bought a new building and moved. On the first day, Anhao's senior anti -theft door moved some small items. The next day, I moved some expensive things. After a long time, the hostess suddenly said, "Oh, the anti -theft door went?"
    14. How much does the ring cost? "" 10,000 yuan. "The husband blown a whistle in surprise and asked," What about the one next to it? " n15. The otaku went through the time and space to go to ancient times. He opened his eyes and looked at it. He was in the Huadu, and there were countless gold and silver jewelry around him. If you think about it, he seems to be the emperor. At the time of proud, an eunuch suddenly passed on to the hall. The otaku whispered to ask what the so -called thing, the eunuch replied: "He is the adult, the emperor is dying."
    16. Little girl: Do you know why there are king characters on the tiger's head? Little brother: Because the tiger is "old" tiger , So there are head -up lines. Little boy: Why isn't the mother tiger? Little Brother: Because the mother tiger will be maintained!
    17. A lady go to take a snapshot. After taking the shoot, I took the automatic rinse of the photo, and after reading it, I was shocked: How can I take a look like a monkey! The latter latter said coldly: That's mine, you have to wait.
    18. I am such a boring person. I actually discovered the connection between the "angel" and "stool", and moved the horizontal horizontal characters to the middle of the right entrance and became a stool.
    19. The company has a venting room with portraits of the leaders. Employees who have opinions can vent in it. The manager came in that day and saw his portrait intact, while other leaders were caught, and they were full of joy. Managers said: The portraits of other leaders have not had time to change, and you have changed it three times!
    20. The grandson asked Grandpa: "You are nearly old, did you all realize when you were young?" Grandpa: "When I was young, your grandma always liked to pinch my hair. At that time, I thought, if I didn't have My hair is just fine. Now my wish is finally realized. But ... "" But what? "Sun Tzu asked nervously. Grandpa sighed and said, "But now your grandma has changed to my ears again."

  2. The most disgusting jokes are recommended to see
    , one after eating, occasionally Hou is not honest, and an old farmer said to educate me, saying to me:

    The boost never thrown.

    . There is a rich man looking for a servant. The question of the interview is to go to the toilet. After passing away, there was only one washing his hands, so the rich left him. But one day, the rich found that he did not wash his hands, and the rich asked him why? Hand paper ... "

    three, a man saw a store at a big price, and walked in." What do you buy? "" I want to buy dog ​​food. " You must prove that you have a dog. "
    " Where is there such a rule? "" The price reduction product is like this. "The man and the salesperson for a long time, the salesperson still did not agree to sell it to him. After bringing the dog, I bought the dog food. After a few days, the man went to this store to buy a cat. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have the rule, you must prove that you have a cat." Or that's The seller, the man rubbed it with her for a long time, but still had to go home to bring the cat to buy the cat food. After a few days, the man hugged the big carton with a hole in the store and found the one to find that. Salesman. "What do you buy?" "You extend your hand in and know." The salesperson put it in: "What is it?" " R n Fourth, someone goes to visit his grandmother with friends. When he talks with his grandmother, his friend starts to eat the peanuts on the coffee table and finish the peanuts. When they leave, his My friend said to my grandmother: "Thank you for your peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Oh! Since my teeth have lost light, I can only suck them in the outer chocolate. Old, cough ... r ... r ... r ... r ...

    five, some people like "Spicy Fan Cook". Once, he went to the restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish has been sold. "Really sell it. Is it over? "He asked disappointed." Sir, really finished it. You see, the last one sold to the table. "The waiter replied. The gentleman is sitting in the neighbor. The gentleman's meals have been eaten almost, but the "spicy fan pot" is still full. The man thinks that the gentleman is wasteful, so he walked to the gentleman and pointed at the " The spicy fan pot ", very politely asked:" Sir, do you want it? "The gentleman shook his head with great gracefulness. So the man immediately sat down and picked up the pouring swaying. Suddenly he found a little mouse lying on the bottom of the casserole but a small but full of fur. A nausea, the man spit all the fans who had eaten it back into the casserole. When he turned his stomach there, he was overwhelming. The gentleman looked at him with a very sympathetic eyes and said, "Is it disgusting? I was like this just now ... "

    six, this day, the hotel owner was inspecting in the hall. A beggar came forward and said," Does the boss give a tooth sign? "The boss gave him a passing away. After a while, I came to a beggar, and I came to the toothpick. The boss thought that now the beggar does not want to change the toothpick? Also give him a passing away, there is too much old beggar. The boss is to him. Said: "Are you here to have toothpicks?" Beggar said, "Someone has spit, but I have taken one step late, and I have been eaten by the two beggars in front. Give me a straw

    Seven, boss, the second child by plane, the second child faint, and vomiting. They were constantly vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said: "I saw this bag full of vomiting, so I had to drink half a bag, and they vomited all."

    If you have n’t spit it yet, then I have to admit that you are a master, then I want to get rid of
    . Second, I went to the theater to watch the show, and saw the two people arguing about the development of the plot, and gambled for this. The boss pointed at a row of sputter patengs in the front and said, " Losing, the boss frowned and took a sip. The two then gambled the plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child picked up a spittoon, grunting and drinking fifteen mouths. The boss was shocked. , I admire the five -body investment, saying to the second child, "You are too amazing, you can drink fifteen big mouths!" The second child shook his head, "It's not I want to drink, the sputum in that phlegm is too strong, I really bite
    1, are there any dishes? -
    In chemistry class, the teacher explains the relationship between the solvents and solvents: "certain solvents can only dissolve a certain solution. For example, you ate a bowl of rice, eat another bowl, and eat the third bowl of the third bowl. Are you full, can you still eat it? "
    has a student asking:" Is there any dish? "

    2, test calculation-
    , Shake out the answer to the ten choices. At the end of the end, he suddenly took out again. The proctor finally tolerated: "What are you doing?"
    The student replied: "I'm experimenting."

    3, where to go-
    One day, a lady called taxi. Miss: "Hello! I am at the intersection, I want to take a taxi."
    Driver: "What do you wear?" Miss: "I wear a white top, a blue skirt."
    司机:“到哪里?” rn小姐:“到膝盖。”司机:“。。。。。。” rnrn4、埃及和印度的人哦,是不用草纸的,他们After responding to the summoning of nature, do you know how they are? They cleaned them with their left hand, and then rushed with water, so dirty, but every time I passed by a certain building, I saw the team that bought Indian cakes there for so long, I covered my face and laughed and walked over. You know, the hardness threw the cake cannot be thrown up with one hand.

    5. Seeing the legs and knowing people-
    In an animal exam at a university, the main exam professor announced the test question: Put ten birds in front of the classroom, each bird uses a bag cover Just, the legs are exposed. Please observe the legs of each bird carefully, and then say their own common names, habits, categories, etc.
    The college student observed the legs of each bird, but in his opinion, these birds seemed to be no different. The more he looked at him, he got up and said, "This kind of test is too boring, who can do it. Look at your legs? "
    The professor was surprised by his words and deeds, and asked quickly:" Which class are you from, what is the name? " , Roar to the professor: "Guess, guess!"

    6, beggars and ghosts-
    A beggar came to a ghost house to beg.
    Is beggar: "Please give me a small piece of meat, cheese or cream." Ghost: "No!"
    The beggar: "Bread crumbs."
    啬 啬: "Also No! "
    Is beggar:" Let's drink saliva! "Ghost:" We don't even have water. "
    Let me go together! "

    7, captives and horses-
    A cavalry was unfortunately captured in the war.
    "We will kill all the captives." The enemy leader said to him, "But because you are brave and admirable in the battle, I can kill you again three days later. Before that, we met three of you three. Requirements. Now, you can mention the first one. "
    The cavalry didn't think about it, and said," I want to say something to my horse. "The leader agreed. So the cavalry walked over and said to his Malta. After hearing the horse, Changxiao sounded and relaxed. At dusk, the horse came back, carrying a beautiful girl on her back. That night, the cavalry spent the Spring Festival with the girl. The leader was surprised: "It's a magical BMW!" He said, "However, I still want to kill you. What is your second requirement?"
    The cavalry asked to say something to the horse again. The leader agreed, so the cavalry said with Malta again, and the horse shouted again and relaxed. At dusk, the horse came back again. That night, the cavalry and the girl spent another night.
    The leader is very sighing: "You and your horses are eye -opening, but tomorrow I still want to kill you. Now you mention your last request." The cavalry thought about it Talking with my horse alone. "The leader felt very strange, but nodded in agency and left with his followers. There were only cavalry and his BMW in the tent. The cavalry stared at his horse, suddenly holding his ears, and said angrily, "Let me say it again, bring a brigade to bring a woman!"

    8, Answer ---
    The man on the toilet at a highway rest station. There was someone in the first room, so he entered the second room. As soon as he sat on the toilet, he heard someone next door and said, "Hi, what, everything is okay?"
    The man thought he was weird when he went to the toilet, but in order not to be rude, he still reluctantly answered : Still there! "
    Then the person next door said," What are you busy? " "
    This was shocked and strange, but he still replied:" I want to go to Taichung to travel. "
    In at this time, he heard the person next door and said," I'll wait for you again. " There is a neuropathy next to me. Every time I talk to you, he rushes to answer. "

    9, interval station ---
    a passenger said to the flight attendant," I want to go to Doncas "
    However, when we change the track when we change the rail in Doncas, I open the door and you jump down. Although the car is not driving fast, you must run forward after you jump down, otherwise you will get you into the wheels. "
    When the train reaches Doncas, the car door opened, and the man jumped off the train and ran forward. Due to his nervousness, he ran to the door of the first two cars. At this moment The car door opened, and a flight attendant dragged him into the compartment again. The train returned to normal speed.
    The flight attendant said, "Oh, you are so lucky, our trip on Tuesday is not in Doncas on Tuesday. Stop! "

    10, boasting ---
    a farmer boasted his manor to people. He said," If I drive around my manor, it will need to need to need One week. "
    A listener said sympathetically," Yeah, I have also had such a car. "

    11. Our multiplier formula is very powerful ... Several scientists meet together. Some people ask how much 11rd and 11 is equal. American scientists can't wait to move their feet out. American scientists immediately criticized: How can mathematics be covered, science is a very serious topic. Then I took out the calculator and pressed it for a long time. R n12. No matter what car a person is, he has to rely on the window. One day, he is going to take a plane. When he took the boarding pass, he told the lady that he wanted a window. The lady told him that he told him No.
    After boarding the plane, he just found a seat on the window and sat down. Suddenly, a person came and told him that this was my seat. He said that I like this seat. Don't let, that person begged hard and helpless, so he said angrily: Okay, you can drive it! "Go around!

  3. MM is here, depending on whether there is any one that suits you, these are MM's favorite most ~~~

    1. A man's number of lover numbers is written on the phone, and the name is written as 10086. Every time I receive a text message wife, I have to see it. Every time I see, 10086 is too nicky, and I will send out these whole people ...

    2. The two quarreled a day, and Pharaoh fell away. In the evening, his wife dialed Pharaoh's mobile phone. Pharaoh said very well, "Hello! Here is the" leave "service hotline. Looking down to admit mistakes, please press 1; resolutely divorce, please press 2; if you want to hit someone, this service desk will transfer to you 110." Wife is for you. " I was so angry that I hung up the phone. Late at night, Pharaoh went home and found that the door was locked. He could only call his wife's mobile phone. He only heard his wife said with a fake voice: "Hello! Here is" who is afraid of whom "service hotline. If you want to go home, please kneel with your knees. Washing board; if you want to divorce, please kneel on your knees; if you have discomfort, this service desk will transfer 120 for you. "

    3. It's your mother! "I immediately rejected the sentence" I am your father ", and then I received a call from my mother and said," Add me, quickly! "
    n4. After registering a user name "Dad", it sent me an email. I looked dumbfounded: "Daddy, hello, your user name is successfully registered!"

    5. One is very fat. The woman got on the bus, could not find a seat, and could only pull the ring on the car. Unexpectedly, the driver braked a rush, the fat woman pulled the pull ring, and suddenly rushed to the driver. The driver looked at her and the ring on her hand. Take one! "

    6. A woman said to the derailed husband: If you dare to divorce and marry the young fairy, I will marry her fairy her father. Since then, my son is called your brother -in -law, you You have to call my mother! Her husband fainted on the spot, and from this rule.

    7. Three bunny stool. The first is long. The second is just the ball. The third one is actually triangular. Ask the third little rabbit, it answered: pinch with your hands. (So ​​disgusting ...)

    8. In order to prevent patients from escaping the outer wall.
    The mental patient patients still want to escape from the hospital. Yu Yehei tried to turn over the wall.
    This to the 30th wall.
    "Are you tired?"
    "Not tired."
    So the two continued to look out.
    Thisy to the 60th wall.
    "Are you tired?"
    "Not tired."
    So the two continued to turn out of the wall and turned to the 99th wall.
    "Are you tired?"
    "Tired!"
    "That's good, let's go back"

    9. Little Penguin asked his grandma one day, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yeah, of course you are penguins." The little penguin asked Dad again, "Dad, dad, am I a penguin?" "Yeah, you are a penguin Ah, what's wrong? "" But, how do I feel so cold? " When the teacher asked him why he smoked, he lowered his head and answered deeply: The motherland was not unified, and I was in a depressed mood! (Talent ...)

    11. One day, a pair of black stool saw a white stool,
    black stool asked: Why are you so beautiful?
    This stool is very angry!
    He said: I am not a bowel movement! I am ice cream!

    12. Mr. Yi went to the hospital to hang a needle. The nurse inserted a needle to hang the needle to hang the salt water. It passed more than an hour. Put another bottle immediately. The gentleman was puzzled and asked the nurse said, "Miss, didn't the prescription list only open a bottle? Miss Nurses pointed at the empty bottle cap that finished the salt water.

    13. Monday, I got on the car, and I didn't bring anything except the car. From the starting station to the terminal, I felt calm. There are more note: "One adult goes out and does not bring it. - "
    Tuesday, I put a broken wallet, which contained 1 cents inside. After the terminal, I found that the money was still there. Our profession. - "
    Wednesday, I still broke the wallet with 100 fake banknotes. After the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and the wallet was stuffed with a note: It is illegal act, please consciously go to the relevant departments. - "
    Thursday, I took a envelope, which contained the expired strait talent newspaper. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the envelope was still there. Report, take 1 note: "Now is the era of consultation, update information in time, to seize the opportunity and win success! - "
    Friday, I put a toy phone in the pocket. After the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there were more note:" Please do not open this joke affects our company's normal work. - "
    Saturday, I inserted the toy pistol on the waist. After reaching the terminal, I found that the gun was gone, and the trousers were stuffed with a note:" I hate you the robbery most, a little technical content, a little technical content nothing! Confisca! - "
    Sunday, I was preparing to get in the car, but too many people did not squeeze up. When I was waiting for the next bus, I touched my pocket and found 20 fast money, and there was a note:" Brother, it is not easy to do the wind and sun all day when we do this day. To pay 20 yuan, where do you want to take a taxi, please do not rectify us "

    14. The situation of losing the bicycle was very serious. The new car was not in the blink of an eye, but sometimes it was good to be lucky, and the lost bicycles would come out every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, who was in the same dormitory, bought a transmission car. She showed off and said: "I got the latest lock in this car! "The next day, Xiao Jing went back to self -study in the evening, a sluggish look, and a note was pinched in his hand, saying: Don't be a master here, I borrowed it. !
    . After a few days, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again. Then she bought ten big locks and tied the car to the ground lock. After a solid, I also posted a note to the thief: see how you "borrow"! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, I found that there were five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: see How can you ride!

    15. There are three little tadpoles, they go to the restaurant for dinner ... After waiting for a while, the first dish ...啊那个惊啊...三只小蝌蚪不约而同的唱起了:我不想我不想不想长大...rnrn16 昨天去吃肯德基,排在我后面的像是一对儿Couples, watching them ordered a lot of food, and then sat next to me. After sitting down, the girl started to eat and eat, as if she was hungry for several days, and the boys stabbed the potato one by one with the potato. It seems that there is something.
    Suddenly, the boy put down the fries and made up, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you? "
    " The girl didn't lift her head, and said directly: "No! "

    The boy asked again:" Is it possible at all? " "
    The girl simply said:" There may be no! "
    The boy stunned, looked at her straight, stayed there ...
    At that time, the girl held the chicken leg in one hand and held the burger in one hand. , Then look at the boy with poor eyes, whispered, "Then ... can I eat it? "
    The people, including me, laughed. The boy was helpless and said," Eat it, eat it ... "

    . If I do n’t let chase, I must chase ... Cracks!!!!

    17. A middle -aged man went to a local private hotel in a business trip to a local. During the meal at night, the middle -aged people saw a few stains on the edge of the vegetable disc, which was very uneasy.
    The asked the hotel owner: "This dish looks unclean. The boss replied: "Don't worry, mineral water will make it clean. "
    I answers this answer, the middle -aged people have eaten with peace of mind.
    One week has passed, and middle -aged people eat at the hotel every day, and they are familiar with a big dog in the hotel. R n When the parties were separated, the middle -aged people across the door, and the dog reluctantly caught up and wrapped him up. , Gently say: "Let the guests go, mineral water. "

    18. Hunter hunt, look at two birds on the tree, raised a gun and hit one. As soon as I just coaxed her to take off her clothes, you hit her ...

    19. A restaurant had a parrot hanging at the door. If you come to the door, you will say, "Welcome to come! "A regular thought: I hurry up and see how you react. One day he" scratched "and ran in. The parrot said," His grandma! Scared me! Intersection Intersection "

    20. A child laughed after a child was born, and the nurses were very strange. *! Want to kill me? Not so easy!!

  4. Oh, Ijd, IJD, Oh, hear it. IRSJS sniper IRTJH. Oh, I ’m wronged when I opened the room Dead Goose Beer Festival. Waiting for him, can you watch the movie? Can you experience the opportunity to break the problem every day? Do you understand?

  5. I always thought that as long as I was hidden, there was a beautiful woman recognizing that I was handsome. But I was wrong. Men like me are like the fireflies in the dark night, and the golden turtles in the field are so clear. So outstanding, especially the melancholy eyes, messy hairstyles, seven dollars in Hongta Mountain in my mouth, and half a bonus snow cake in my pocket, all of which were deeply sold me.

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